You might be from New Mexico if . . .

Compiled and Edited By Walt Mares

Walt Mares

How do you know you might be from New Mexico? We took a few things heard here and there from the Land of Enchantment. 

Think about the following:

You know that the proper spelling for that heavenly, delicious plant is “chile.” Never, ever should it be spelled “chili.”

You have an extra freezer just for green chile.

Most of the restaurants you go to being with “El” or “Los.”

You know whether you want “red” or green.”

You know that “Christmas” also means a combination of red and green chile.

You argue bitterly about whether the best green chile is from Espanola or Hatch.

You price shop for tortillas.

You buy salsa by the half-gallon.

You expect to pay more if your house is made of mud.

You think a red traffic light is just a suggestion.

You believe that using a turn signal is just a sign of weakness.

You ran for the state legislature so you can speed legally.

You pass on the right because that is the fast lane.

You have read a book while driving from Albuquerque to Santa Fe.

You just got your 5th DUI and got elected to the state legislature in the same week.

Two of your cousins are in Santa Fe, one in the legislature and the other in the state pen.

The tires on your roof have more tread than the ones on your car.

The TV antenna on your roof got knocked off by a dust devil.

The same dust devil knocked the swamp cooler off your roof. 

You know if someone says “Vamos al chante” or “let’s go down the house” means you are being invited to someone’s home.

You know when your mom is yelling for you from the “scream door” that she wants you to come home for supper – right now!

You think the UNM Lobos fight song is “Louie, Louie.”

 You think the only Las Vegas is a town in northeastern New Mexico. 

You know where San Antonio is and it is not the one in Texas.

You know where the Owl Café & Bar is located.

You think you know where the Santuario de Chimayo is located.

You are still using the paper license tag that came with your car five years ago.

Your other vehicle is a pickup truck.

You iron your jeans just to “dress up.”

You think nothing is odd when you are at the grocery store and the people in the line around you, every other word they speak alternates between Spanish and English.

You know you will run into at least three cousins whenever you shop at Walmart, Costco, or the Home Depot.

You have been told by at least one out-of-state vendor that they are going to charge you for “international” shipping.

You have a T-shirt that’s says “New Mexico. Not Old and Not Mexico.”

You think six tons of crushed rock makes a beautiful lawn.

You drive to an Indian casino at 3 a.m. because you were hungry.

You know the punch lines to all, or most, of the Espanola jokes.

You heard that a tornado hit Espanola and it did $5 million of improvements.

You know who founded Espanola. It was Marco Cholo.

You know what part of Espanola that Elaine’s is located.

You know where Joann’s Rancho Casados – Love at First Bite – is.

You and your family have made at least three trips to Roswell.

You have been on TV more than three times telling about your alien abduction.

There is a piece of a UFO in your home.

You hear one of your uncles and his pals refer to COVID-19 as the “Cabrona” virus.

You hated Texans until the Californians started moving in.

You think the Californians may be bringing the Cabrona virus to New Mexico on purpose.