Editorial: What happens if they nuke New York? 

Column By Mike Bibb

“So, there’s been a nuclear attack.  Don’t ask me how or why.  Just know that the big one has hit.  OK?  So, what do we do?” – PSA issued by New York City Emergency Management Department

Reminiscent of a 1950’s Cold War public service announcement, New York City has issued an updated version of the ad.

I would imagine most people today are not familiar with our government’s efforts to warn people what to do in case of a nuclear attack.  Then, as now, the bad guy was Russia.  

Seems the bad guy is always Russia.  U.S. Army General George Patton was one of the early advocates of eliminating Russia’s military capability but was overruled by Washington higher-ups. 

Following World War II, Russia was the sole surviving military threat in Europe and Asia, even though its ability to make war had been severely damaged by years of hostilities.  

The elimination of the Axis Powers – Germany, Italy, and Japan – made possible the Soviet Union’s (as Russia was then known) ascension into the ranks of the newly coined phrase “Super Powers.”

Never mind they really weren’t a superpower, but it sounded intimidating to a world that had just witnessed man’s first two nuclear bomb explosions in early August 1945.

In actuality, Russia barely had the capacity to feed itself.  To imagine they could sustain a major prolonged military operation without outside assistance, seemed a bit naive.

Eighty years later, we’re witnessing a similar scenario in Ukraine, which might help explain Vladimir Putin’s boast of using nuclear weapons.  Recognizing his military may have bitten off more than it can chew, Vlad began rattling nuclear sabers as a warning to the West to not intervene in his private war.

Apparently, his clatter has spooked New York City into issuing a Public Service Announcement/PSA, informing residents how to react to an atomic explosion if the Rooskies should lob one into the lobby of The New York Times.

Again, echoing 50ish era suggestions, the PSA offers vocal and visual aid recommendations of what people should immediately do following a nuclear missile attack.

This is assuming there will still be a few folks around to heed the advice.

Following the PSA narrator’s opening remarks informing NYC residents “the big one has hit,” she calmly advises viewers to 1. Get inside.  2. Stay inside, stay away from windows, and shower if exposed to radioactive fallout.  3. Stay tuned.

I guess TV and radio stations, city utilities, and the window glass will still be intact amongst the destruction and rubble of a city of eight million residents.

Fortunately, there will probably be some leftover COVID facemasks people could strap on to filter atomic dust and particles.  Not certain if the 10 or 11 remaining inhabitants will have to social distance to remain safe from the radioactive glow of each other.  They’d have to wait until Dr. Fauci issues a series of nuclear bomb survivor mandates.

Maybe President Joe could appoint Vice President Kamala Harris as his New York City Nuclear Bomb Czar since she probably fully understands the seriousness and complexity of the disaster:  “New York City was bombed by a bomb.  The bomb came from the sky, which is right above New York City.  If the sky hadn’t been there at that particular moment, the bomb probably would not have fallen on New York and we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

Even worse than the annihilation of NYC, is the disastrous economic impact our nation will suffer from no longer having a major metropolitan area to funnel thousands of illegal aliens into.

Luckily, Kamala should know this, since she’s already Joe’s Border Czar and well versed in problems and issues facing the migrant community.

Thank goodness this PSA was only an alert and not the real thing.  Tens of thousands of tweets from folks who had only learned of the announcement were wondering if the city was still standing and what should they do?

In spite of the confusion, NYC Mayor Eric Adams approved the PSA, saying it was about “preparedness” and “taking necessary steps after what happened in Ukraine.”

The mayor is a visionary.  Who else in America conceived of the possibility of Russian tanks rumbling into the Heartland as nuclear bombs fall from the heavens?

Maybe Eric has watched Red Dawn, Red October, and fail-safe movies too many times.    

The opinions expressed in this editorial are those of the author.