Editorial: President Biden has cancer, COVID, and a high I.Q. all at the same time

Column By Mike Bibb

“I think I have a much higher IQ than you, I suspect.”

Joe Biden speaking to a school teacher during his first presidential campaign, April 7, 1987

Recently, we learned President Joe Biden is suffering from cancer and COVID at the same time.

At least that’s what Joe was telling us.

During a climate change speech at a former coal-fired power plant in Somerset, Massachusetts, on July 20, 2022, Biden suddenly decided to inject his personal experiences with fossil fuel pollution and how it caused him to have cancer.

Living in Claymont, Delaware as a child, Joe explained the community was downwind from, “more oil refineries than Houston, Texas.”

That comment, in itself, should have been a tip-off to the veracity of his remaining speech.

He told the crowd his mother would often wipe an “oil slick” off the windshield of the car before driving him to school in the morning. 

“Guess what – the first frost, you know what was happening?” Joe remarked.  “You’d have to put on your windshield wipers to get, literally, the oil slick off the window.  That’s why I, and so many damn other people I grew up with, have cancer.  And why, for the longest time, Delaware had the highest cancer rate in the nation.”

In all probability, his mother was simply using the wipers to sweep frost from the windshield so she could see to drive.  I doubt wipers would help much if the windshield was covered with oil.  What’s the old saying about oil and water not mixing?

As a young child, a dirty and frosty windshield may have looked similar to an oily one.

Whoops.  Damage control at the White House soon had to issue another Biden gaffe correction.  Joe, like many millions of citizens, suffers from non-melanoma skin cancers.  He’s had them surgically removed over the years.

More than likely, the skin cancers are the result of sun exposure, not an oil film on his mother’s car windshield 70 years ago. 

Joe has repeated this story several times at various events over the years, only varying the details slightly to suit the occasion. 

During his first presidential run in 1987 – which he later had to drop out of because it was revealed he was plagiarizing his speeches – Joe got into a verbal tussle with a local school teacher over his qualifications to become president.

At a campaign rally on April 7, 1987, Claremont, Hew Hampshire teacher Frank Fahey, asked Biden, “What law school did you attend and where did you place in that class?” 

That set Joe off, and he proceeded to spin one of his most monumentally ridiculous and easily fact-checked whoppers of his entire 50-year political career.

Undoubtedly, a Five Pinocchio presentation, or whatever the maximum is. 

In a condescending tone, Joe brazenly informed the teacher, “I think I have a much higher I.Q. than you, I suspect.  I went to law school on a full academic scholarship – the only one in my class to have a full academic scholarship.  The first year in law school, I decided I didn’t want to be in law school and ended up in the bottom two-thirds of my class.  And then decided I wanted to stay and went back to law school and, in fact, ended up in the top half of my class.  I won the international moot court competition.  I was an outstanding student in the political science department at the end of my year. I graduated with three degrees from undergraduate school and 165 credits; you only needed 123 credits.  I would be delighted to sit down and compare my I.Q. to yours, Frank.”

Whoa!  Let me catch my breath.  That was amazing.

Except, nearly every sentence in his braggadocios reply was a lie – a total fabrication – and he didn’t even mention where he went to law school, or what his I.Q. actually was.  He instinctively knew it was higher than Frank’s, so he twice insulted the man’s intelligence – making sure the audience realized Joe was the smartest guy in the room.

Biden’s narcissism and propensity to bend the truth are legendary and have been on public display ever since.  His brain was as muddled then as it is now.  Advancing age has only exacerbated a pre-existing condition.

Fact:  Biden attended Syracuse Law School, Syracuse, New York, on a half-scholarship based on financial need, not academic excellence.

Fact:  He wasn’t close to graduating in the “top half” of his law class.  He finished in the low bottom quarter – 76th out of 85.

Fact:  He did not win the outstanding political science student at the University of Delaware.

Fact:  He didn’t graduate with three degrees, but a single B.A. – Bachelor of Arts – in political science and history from Delaware. 

In hindsight, Frank Fahey should have taken Joe up on his offer to compare intelligence.  That probably would have been the icing on the cake.

Now, he insists he has COVID, in spite of being fully vaccinated and boosted.    Maybe he needs to strap on two or three more face masks and stay isolated for another year.  

Not surprisingly, many in his administration have also contracted the disease.  Some more than once.  As the virus continues to mutate, it’s not unusual for people will become susceptible to reinfection.

That’s what flu-like viruses have been doing forever.  It’s also one of the reasons nature installed an immune system into our bodies. 

Actually, it was about a year ago Joe told the entire country COVID was an “epidemic of the unvaccinated.” If a person was vaxxed and boosted, they wouldn’t catch COVID.  It would miraculously avoid them – sort of like a contemporary Passover. 

Obviously, the reliability of the vaccines has proven to be considerably less than promoted, requiring a continuing series of boosters to maintain a modicum of resistance to the virus.

If Dr. Fauci is Joe’s COVID witness, I’d like to see a legitimate lab report verifying the president’s condition.  Otherwise, neither one seems capable of distinguishing fact from fiction. 

The opinions expressed in this editorial are those of the author.  

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