Photo Courtesy NASA
Column By Mike Bibb
“I feel the Earth move under my feet, I feel the sky tumbling down”
“I Feel The Earth Move,” Carole King, 1971
The first verse of an old Carole King song not only expresses how folks in New York City must have felt during their recent earthquake experience but aptly describes the condition my stomach twists into whenever President Joe tells us everything is getting better.
While my insides are churning, I, too, instinctively glance heavenward to see if the sky is tumbling down.
Sort of a Book of Revelation moment meets a panic-stricken Chicken Little.
Not to imply St. John the Devine is relaying Jesus’ messages to St. Joe the Schmo, as it appears Joe is getting guidance from less reliable sources.
Chicken Little, for instance.
Possibly, Joe may have missed the April 5, 4.8 magnitude shaker as 7:23 a.m. is way too early for him to have realized it was Friday morning already. . . or, the terra firma wasn’t being very firm.
It’s rumored king-sized SlumberMatics in the White House are specifically designed to absorb sudden disturbances coming from Congress before noon, Kamala pounding on the front door, and natural disasters.
Incoming nuclear bombs might require the additional assistance of pull-down nightshades and earplugs.
After all, a hard-working president needs his sleep. At least, 12-15 hours.
Our current leader is not exactly “Moving at the speed of business” to quote an old United Parcel Service slogan. When he does move, it more closely resembles the gradual progression of a giant chunk of ice in Glacier National Park.
Ask the residents of East Palestine, Ohio. It took Joe over a year to travel 290 miles to visit the small community, devastated by a hazardous chemical train derailment.
He could have walked it in less time.
In contrast, former President Trump arrived within a few days, bearing pallets of drinking water and other necessities.
Then again, Joe’s almost as old as the glaciers. His tour in Washington is approaching a half-century. Joe’s been hanging around the Capitol for only 17 fewer years than George Washington was alive.
Of course, George had a lot more on his plate – a revolution, general of the army, Declaration of Independence, Constitution, first president, et cetera – leaving little time to entertain the transgender colony on Easter Sunday.
Boeing hadn’t built the 747 yet, and his Marines were without helicopters to shuttle him to Mount Vernon. Consequently GW, unlike Joe, had fewer worries maintaining a $2.75 million beach house in Rehoboth, Delaware – with a newly installed $455,000 security fence – patrolled by numerous Secret Service Agents.
Presidential retreats, to ease job stress, have significantly advanced between #1 and #46.
Makes one wonder how “Lunch box Joe, a kid from Scranton, Pennsylvania,” managed to land a public service job for the next 50 years, became a multi-millionaire with a classic ’67 Corvette parked in his garage next to boxes of classified government documents, and ended up President of the United States?
This is the same guy who barely graduated from law school and his former boss, Barack Obama, said had an inexplicable knack for messing things up – putting it politely.
To his credit, Joe was smart enough to realize steady government employment would be the best way to keep food in the kitchen cabinets and house lights on.
Besides, it doesn’t appear Joe was cut out for work in the private sector.
So, when he comes on TV and says the country is in great shape under the exceptional leadership of his hand-picked team, and then his own “Department of Agriculture admits consumers spent 11.3% of their disposable income on food in 2022 – the highest in 30 years” (American Legion Magazine, April 2024, p. 48), the two statements are in direct contradiction to each other.
One isn’t telling the truth – “misstating” the facts – they often say in D.C. Don’t believe it’s overly complicated to figure which one. Joe’s always tended to stretch the accuracy of the narrative, as a 40-year series of news clips will verify.
Prompting the question, why don’t we insist public officials – when being sworn into office – place one hand on the Bible and the other hooked up to a polygraph machine, repeat the oath of office, and conclude by answering “Yes” or “No” to a brief three-part inquiry: “Have you ever lied – Intend to lie – Are you lying now?”
If a court requires witnesses to tell the truth – under penalty of perjury – shouldn’t the same be required of elected and appointed officeholders whose wages are paid by the taxpayers?
Anyway, at the same time, we’re enjoying Joe’s bounteous economy, fuel prices, rents, mortgage payments, insurance premiums, utility costs, loan interests, credit card rates, health care expenses and all the rest of the stuff people normally require to exist have also gone up.
Odd, Joe’s patting himself on the back for doing a superlative job, apparently oblivious that the financial stability of the country is swirling around the drain hole.
His solution? Raise taxes and borrow more money. It seems $34 trillion in debt isn’t nearly enough.
As a result, why should I be surprised to learn a Friday morning earthquake didn’t get Joe’s attention? Everything else in his administration is bassackwards; what makes a rare Northeastern tremor any different?
Likewise, unsure he even noticed the solar eclipse, thinking, perhaps it was just another big Chinese spy balloon floating overhead, blocking out the sun. Nothing to be alarmed over.
With an election in about seven months, Joe will be reminding us “Come on, man, if you don’t vote for me you ain’t thinkin’ like a Democrat!”
Can’t argue that point.
