Editorial: Jell-O, Cool Whip, and cottage cheese

Jon Johnson File Photo/Gila Herald: Arizona Senator Kyrsten Sinema (I), shown here during a quick stop at the Safford Regional Airport, is distancing herself from Democrat Party members’ lunches.

Column By Mike Bibb

Arizona U.S. Senator, Kyrsten Sinema (I), refuses to dine with Democratic “old dudes,” saying it’s something about the way they eat their Jell-O.

Kyrsten, Arizona’s former Democrat Senator until she switched to the Independent Party last December, believes she can make better use of her time rather than munching snacks at “those dumb lunches.”

She may have a point.

Realizing much of a senator’s time is consumed with socializing amongst themselves, discussing legislation, making deals, massaging egos, and doing “what’s best for my state” (i.e., “me”), it’s obvious a portion of these ear-bending sessions is an essential part of maintaining party cohesion. 

Plus, it sustains the all-important “team player” image – a necessary requisite in securing committee assignments from higher-ups and recognition by other influential VIPs.

Even though Kyrsten has officially severed her Democrat Party membership, she continues to preserve committee responsibilities.

“I’m not caucusing with the Democrats.  I’m formally aligned with the Democrats for committee purposes, but apart from that, I am not a part of the caucus” (policy planners), she said.

Does this mean she’s still inclined to vote the party line, although she’s not involved in establishing policy?

Not certain of Sinema’s political aspirations, but it can probably be assumed she switched allegiance for a reason.  In spite of the fact her heart seems to reside with Democrats, Arizona remains a teetering state – purple, but barely.

Nevertheless, she’s busy raising campaign funds for another run, perhaps sensing President Biden’s abysmal time in office may not bode well for Arizona Democrats in 2024.

Particularly, in a border state where Joe’s totally irrational – and, seemingly, intentional policies – have inflicted a heavy social and financial toll upon a society still reeling from the effects of equally nonsensical COVID lockdowns, and church and school closures.

Absolutely asinine.  Even more absurd, considering the administration’s continued push to get people revaccinated and boosted, regardless of increasing evidence the pandemic was not intensified by unmasked, unvaccinated individuals, as Joe often comments.

When revealing her reasons for refusing to attend Democrat’s weekly luncheons, Politico Magazine, Mar. 23, 2023, reported Kyrsten indicating “I spend my days doing productive work, which is why I’ve been able to lead every bipartisan vote that’s happened the last two years.” 

Frustrated, she dropped the hammer on the silliness of the Capitol cafeteria get-togethers, saying it is just an excuse for “Old dudes are eating Jell-O, everyone is talking about how great they are.  I don’t really need to be there for that.  That’s an hour and a half twice a week that I can get back.”

Then, she added a little topping of her own – “The Northerners and Westerners put Cool Whip on their Jell-O, and the Southerners put cottage cheese.”

Fooled me.  I thought the Westerners would have insisted upon a salsa condiment with a moderately high Scoville Heat Unit rating.

Maybe, that’s just for leathery-mouthed Republican old dudes.

Whatever the case, nearly everyone knows salsa goes with everything – including Jell-O, strawberry sundaes sprinkled with Pico de Gallo, and a cinnamon Danish smothered in caramelized diced Hatch green chilies. 

Woo-hoo! Doesn’t get any better than that!

The opinions expressed in this editorial are those of the author – especially about mixing salsa and Jell-O.