Talking to your aging parents about old age and future care can feel emotional, uncomfortable, and even scary. There is no denying that many adult children get anxious about saying the wrong things and hurting their parents’ feelings. However, you cannot avoid the conversation as it might lead to rushed decisions later.
If you see your parents getting old, you should know that the good news is that with the right approach, you can make the entire conversation about aging and care supportive, respectful, and even empowering.
Read on to learn more.
Choose Empathy Over Authority
Many adult children make the mistake of approaching the conversation the wrong way. With that said, you must avoid making the conversation sound like a lecture. It is certainly in your best interest to avoid using “you” statements. Prioritize using “I” statements. For instance, you might use the phrase “I want to understand your future needs and what you truly want,” instead of “You must plan for care.”
You get the point: you want to be on the same page as your parents, which is why you must keep the discussion empathetic and respectful instead of authoritative.
Discuss the Best Care Options Openly
You must give your aging parents the courage that care does not mean that they will be giving up their independence. They must know that their best care options are available before they are actually needed, which is why you might want to discuss care options early.
Your care options might include assisted living, in-home care, and community-based old age residences, such as Franciscan Manor, which focuses on comfort, delight, and a supportive environment. Nonetheless, by letting your parents explore potential options early, you will feel more in control.
Financial planning is also part of this phase, as advised by McClatchy, which is why you might want to involve wealth management professionals at this step, too.
Respect Your Parents’ Independence
Planning for aging care is never associated with taking away your parents’ independence. Planning for aging is essential for planning for potential “what if” scenarios. With that said, we recommend reassuring your parents that their independence and decisions are fully respected. Also, let them know that any plans can be changed according to their needs.
Include Key Family Members in the Conversation
Now, if you have siblings, it is incredibly important for you to keep all key family members informed and involved. What this will do is help prevent potential misunderstandings and remove the pressure on one person. Having a united approach will make your parents feel heard, seen, and supported. Your parents will feel cared for and loved instead of targeted.
Conclusion
Talking to your parents about care, health, and aging is one of the most meaningful conversations that you can have with them, which is why you must focus on being empathetic, patient, and honest. By doing so, you will remove uncertainty for everyone who is part of the conversation.
