Column By John Young
In seeking never to repeat the horrors of 9/11, Congress took the step to merge relevant civilian operations – customs, immigration, airports, nonmilitary national security, and intelligence.
In 2002, former senator Lee Hamilton, serving on the 9/11 Commission, said the nation needed an administrative superstar to oversee “the massive integration and unity of effort to keep Americans safe” as secretary of the new Department of Homeland Security.
Someone like, let’s see. Kristi Noem.
OK, she was an utter embarrassment. But when her shock troops killed two Americans on Minneapolis streets, she hewed to the Big Lie Handbook like a champ. Why fire her?
Maybe we needed someone more qualified for this awesome, all-encompassing task — someone like former MMA fighter Markwayne Mullin. He does know how to handle a wrench.
Oh, well.
In 2024, in keeping with the boast that he hires the “best people,” this president chose as attorney general, assigned America’s foremost law enforcement post, a Florida friend.
No, not Pam Bondi. First, he chose a Florida friend who was disqualified almost overnight because of the Florida Man problem of excessive friendliness with sweet young Florida things. Matt Gaetz. Remember him?
Let’s admit the whole Gaetz thing is a bad memory that needs jogging — this after barely more than a year of what Bondi did — and more importantly, didn’t do.
Now, canned by Mr. Bigly, she is replaced by the man who lost 34 times trying to defend him against felony fraud. Todd Blanche. That’s some pick.
No intent to defend Bondi here, but upon her firing, one had to ask: Did she not do the job her boss asked of her?
Didn’t she hide the truth in the Epstein files?
Didn’t she sneer, insult, and obfuscate like her boss when Congress sought answers?
Didn’t she try again and again to prosecute his political rivals for made-up crimes?
At the same time, didn’t she skillfully manage to indict not even one of his friends and neighbors, including his commerce secretary, linked to America’s most notorious pedophile ring?
Blanche says the Epstein files “should not be a part of anything moving forward” for his department.
Sure. Blanche needs to get back to what U.S. Rep. Jamie Raskin says this president has made of his Justice Department: “a vendetta factory.”
Ooh, and then there’s our secretary of “war,” who can proudly put “Will bomb for Jesus” on his sandwich board when voters put him out on the street.
There was a time not long ago that a secretary of defense could be so valued for his independence and expertise that he served presidents of multiple parties, as Robert Gates did for George W. Bush and Barack Obama.
But of course, like everyone in this president’s Cabinet, Pete Hegseth is most interested in advancing ideology and grievances.
No one has been more dedicated to cleansing the military hierarchy of evil “DEI hires,” meaning exceptionally qualified females and people of color.
Hegseth, Noem, Bondi, Blanche, Patel, Gabbard, Steven Miller, Bobby Jr.
So many dunces and doofuses – doofi? — on our payroll.
“The best people.” Yeah.
“Flaming incompetence,” is how former Justice Department prosecutor Andrew Weissman describes it.
MAGA calls it “meritocracy.”
The personnel choices by this president have created a whole new disqualifying mental health condition we must discuss. It afflicts one in whom sycophancy and incompetence merge: sycosis.
If the dictionary doesn’t list this, Webster is asleep at the switch.
While we’re at it, we who are disgusted by right-wingers shouting “DEI” as if it’s a three-alarm fire, need our own acronym in rebuttal.
Looking at the incompetents this president hires, only three initials meet the moment. They should be on the lips of all thinking Americans to mock the caliber of people this president chooses:
“FUI.”
Pronounced “phooey.” Stands for “finding useful idiots.”
Hey, Webster’s. Get this in the next edition.
Longtime newspaperman John Young lives in Colorado. Email him at jyoungcolumn@gmail.com.
The opinions expressed in this editorial are those of the author.
