Column by John Young
Maybe it was all that sledgehammering of White House walls — hard labor at 79.
Maybe it was partying like the devil on Halloween night while the government stood still. (Did they check the ages of those girls taking turns in the giant martini glass?)
Whatever, no one could blame Orange Kool-Aid Man for being tuckered out Election Night.
So exhausted was he that his silver thumbs barely could muster 25 words on Truth Social. He struggled just to keep his upper-case up.
His principal explanation for the across-the-board loss by his party? He “WASN’T ON THE BALLOT.”
And then it was off to bed.
It is remarkable to observe someone so highly regarded by so many who cannot muster humility amid humiliation.
There almost wasn’t an election result on Nov. 4 that wasn’t a statement against HIM.
The trouncing far transcended the lopsided elections of two moderate women, both Democrats, as governors of Virginia and New Jersey. Their Republican foes, not surprisingly, had pledged allegiance to their King.
It far transcended the victory in the New York mayor’s race by a young man whom Old Coppertone Cheeks sought to tar because of a Third World name and ideas that excite young progressives.
It far transcended California, voting 2-to-1 to “call you and raise you, Texas,” on the unconscionably devious poker play – president’s orders to Texas Gov. Greg Abbott and the Republican-majority legislature – that they do what they could to rig the 2026 election to hold onto a red U.S. House majority.
So there, Rs: After gaining the governor’s seat and adding 13 legislative seats in their House of Delegates, Virginia Democrats now can join the mid-decade redistricting stampede our president set off.
So much winning for the Ds. So few National Guardsmen to manage it all.
In Maine, voters rejected a so-Republican measure to make voting harder -– “eliminate two days of absentee voting . . . prohibit requests for absentee ballots by phone . . . end ongoing absentee voter status for seniors . . . and people with disabilities . . . ban prepaid postage on absentee ballot return envelopes . . . limit the number of drop boxes, require voters to show certain photo ID before voting . . .”
Yada, yada. Nope.
In Colorado, a city councilwoman who fed on and fed into the narrative that Venezuelan gangs had “taken over” the city of Aurora – population 400,000 – got defeated by voters who knew it was a damnable lie MAGA-nified for use on the campaign trail.
In Pennsylvania, voters refused to remove three state supreme court judges targeted by Republicans because the judges wouldn’t answer Rudy Giuliani’s call–– apparently, he had a special app until losing phone service–– to pronounce the 2020 election rigged there.
Loss after loss after loss. This includes school board races nationwide in which those more interested in culture wars than education lost bigly.
You say you weren’t on the ballot, Sir?
That’s not what voters say.
One told MSNBC he was motivated to get out and vote solely by the demolition of the East Wing. Commentator Lawrence O’Donnell said multiply that guy by thousands.
Imagine: more than 7 million California voters weighing in on one — one! — ballot issue, a statement of indignation crafted as a response to one person.
“Send the troops” never sounded like worse politics.
So, Democrats, dispense with the consternation and condemnation when the Guard arrives. Invite the harassment. Mr. President, send troops all over the country. It helps your opposition.
Next November, White House staff, hide the condiments.
Longtime newspaperman John Young lives in Colorado. Email him at jyoungcolumn@gmail.com.
The opinions expressed in this editorial are those of the author.
